May 28, 2007

We started out the day at Yad Vashem (A Memorial and a Name). It's a Holocaust Museum. It's incredible, the way they've set it up. I'm glad we had a tour guide with us, otherwise I would have missed a lot of the symbolism. For example, the concrete used to build it looks unfinished. There are still holes systematically around it. They did that because the Jews are incomplete, unfinished. What the Holocaust did to them left them broken, yet they've come together to form something beautiful. Instead of trying to explain to you what I felt there, I'm going to put my site report in here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I should be doing homework right now. I have three finals tomorrow that I’m not yet prepared for. But I can’t get Yad Vashem out of my mind, so instead, I will write.

I started out taking notes. I always take notes, however few. We were supposed to bring our notebooks and I knew I was going to have to write a site report about this site. I discovered very quickly that I could not take notes. The few I took were interesting and factual. I’m sure I will appreciate them later. But writing down facts did nothing but distract from the feeling that this place gave. It didn’t take me long to put my little notebook away and focus all of my attention on what I saw and heard.

There are no words to describe what went through my head and heart. Nothing could ever do it justice. I went from display to display, listening to her stories—bringing these people to life. I wanted to leave, I couldn’t stay and relive the horror of these people. I stayed. I felt the emotion build up inside; I needed a release from this horrible pressure. I wept. I couldn’t acquaint myself with these people; I couldn’t take their burdens upon me, even for a moment. I listened. This was Yad Vashem.

Partway through the museum, my tailbone started to hurt from an old injury. My knees were aching from trying to compensate for my tailbone. The taxing toll of the constant emotion made me lightheaded. For a time, all I could focus on was finding a place to sit or lean upon to take away the pressure and pain. And then Hazy, our guide, showed us a picture of Jewish men, forced to stand or die. I looked around at the hollow faces and emotionless eyes staring back at me. The stories from all the rooms around me came rushing back into my ears. The realization of my discomfort next to all of the pain and sorrow faced by these, my brothers and sisters, humbled me. As I listened to the story my guide was telling, I forgot about my lightheadedness. As I walked to the next room, my pain vanished. I’m sure it was still there, but in context of what I was witnessing, my knees didn’t hold a candle.

There are no words to describe the emotions caused by this place. Do I pity those whose lives were torn apart and destroyed? Do I hate the ones who caused such terror? How do I love my enemy? How do I hate a brother? Would I have been among those that stood up and risked my life and that of my family’s for the life of a stranger? How do you put a name to the emotion? How do you describe the pain, heartache and joy?

There are no words.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lunch was a somber occasion. We were all reminiscing upon our experience at Yad Vashem. No one knew exactly what to say. Some had feelings they wanted to express, others wanted to keep everything inside. I was in between. I wanted to talk about it. I wanted to express what I was feeling. But I didn't know how. So I mostly chose to stay silent. When others would bring up topics or opinions, I found myself commenting on them, trying to express something of what I felt. But I knew it was inadequate.

The rest of the afternoon was classes. an hour of Archaeology and two of Old Testament. We had an hour break between class and dinner, which was really nice. Naps and homework all around. :D Dinner was followed quickly by our Galilee Prep. They gave us a handout, telling us all the rules, then just went over it, answering questions along the way. It was a lot like the Egypt prep, so I felt no guilt working on my map for my Modern Near East - Palestinian (MNE2) class that was due the next day. We had to hand draw Northern Africa and the Middle East (basically, all the Arab nations) complete with country names, capitals, mountains, rivers, etc. Now, as Jessica (my Provo roommate) knows very well, I love to color when I'm bored. I love my scripture marking pencil for that very reason. 9 colors to choose from in one pencil. In the MNE2 booklet that we have to bring to every class, there are several maps that are all grayscale. I hate grayscale maps. Especially when they're obviously copied from colored maps. So, they have a key saying what is what, but the colors are just various shades of gray, making it hard to determine which is which, without seriously stopping and considering. So, for ease of map-reading, I color it. :) Such a self-sacrificing person that I am. hehehe. During the course of, I think, 4 MNE2 classes, I colored two full maps. So, it seemed obvious that if I were to draw a map of this area, that I would color it as well. Duh. So I did. I drew it in pencil, then just colored each country a different color, all the other land space was brown and the ocean was dark blue. Everything else was done in black pen (names, mountains, etc.) except rivers were in blue pen. I'm pretty sure that my map turned out really swell looking, if I do say so myself. :) So, during the Galilee prep, I pulled out my pencil outline and my coloring pencil and got to work. By the end of the Prep, I had my map colored. Only labeling and mountains and rivers to go. :)

The rest of the evening was spent getting ready for the big events of the next day... Finals. [dun dun dun] How crazy is it that after only 4 weeks, I am being tested on the entire Old Testament as well as the Modern Near East history from both the Israeli and Palestinian perspective? Wow.